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We started off the week with an introduction to the ideas shared in Don Miguel Ruiz’ book The Four Agreements. With that information tucked safely under our belts, it’s time to actually get started with the agreements themselves. Today we’re going to look at how to do Something Good by following the first agreement:
Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Ruiz begins this chapter by explaining that this agreement is not only the most important, but also the hardest one to honor. Remember how yesterday we looked at the idea that words and language are agreements? Well, they also have incredible power.
“The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power that you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.”
Our minds are sort of like gardens, and they’re all ready to nurture the seeds that get planted there. Words are seeds. If we’re constantly exposed to words of fear and anger, then that’s what is going to grow inside of us. If you want to consider the power of the word, think of how one ruthless dictator can destroy the lives of thousands—or millions—through the power of his word. If we are exposed to words of love, then that is what will be nurtured inside of us.
As we go through life, we are constantly influenced by people’s words. If the boys in fifth grade told you that you were ugly, then you may well have grown up believing that was true. Maybe a teacher made you feel stupid and you decided that was true. There are thousands of these little instances where someone has not been impeccable with their word, and we bought what they were selling. We made agreements that the things they told us were true.
Breaking these agreements is not an overnight process, but it can be done. One of the most important ways to do this is to be impeccable with your word.
“Regardless of the language we speak, our intent manifests through the word. Through the word we manifest everything; we express our will, our intent, our love, and our faith, which are all the same thing.”
Think of how often you use your word to complain or to express envy. The idea is that every time we do that, we are more or less spreading poison into the world. Most importantly, we are poisoning ourselves. When we are backstabbing or gossiping, we may feel like we’re using our word against someone else, but it comes back around to us in the end.
“Being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself. If I see you in the street and I call you stupid, it appears that I’m using the word against you. But really I’m using my word against myself, because you’re going to hate me for this, and your hating me is not good for me. Therefore, if I get angry and with my word send all that emotional poison to you, I’m using the word against myself.”
When you add to this all the nasty little things that we say to ourselves (“I’m so fat.” “I’m not smart enough.”), that’s a lot of poison building up inside of us! The awesome part is that we can go ahead and use our word to clear this poison away, too. By keeping an agreement with yourself to use your word to speak the truth (and hear the truth), you are protecting yourself. If your brain is a garden like we said before, then you are preparing it to reject seeds of fear and hate. Better yet, you’re preparing it to help create the dream that you want your life to be.
“You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good, you feel happy and at peace.”
So, how do you go about actually being impeccable with your word? The best way is to pay closer attention to what comes out of your mouth. Take a moment to think before you speak. Are you using integrity when you are choosing your words? Here are some common ways in which we can avoid misusing our word:
Put an end to gossip. Gossiping does absolutely nothing for us or for those we’re discussing. This is a hard agreement to break, because we often use gossip as a way to connect with others. Getting out of the gossip trap is very difficult, but it is such an important step in being impeccable with your word.
Be aware of what you’re saying. It’s so common for us to use little turns of phrase that are actually quite negative, without even realizing that we’re doing it. Think of what it really means when you tell someone “I could wring your neck!” or “Don’t be stupid!”
Keep your inner monologue in check. Wegenerally have something like 5,000 words looping continuously through our minds all day long. How many of those words are telling you negative things about yourself? When you catch yourself thinking these types of things, immediately try to replace them with something really great about yourself.
Relax. Some folks have a tendency to feel like they always have to defend themselves or prove that they’re right. Unfortunately, in the process of doing this, we often completely lose our cool and our ability to be impeccable with our word. So, how important is it for you to be right every single time? You might find it’s not as big of a deal as you were making it out to be.
Obviously these are just a few suggestion on how to be impeccable with your word in order to do Something Good in your life. As I said yesterday, this is just an overview of some of the information presented in The Four Agreements. There should be enough here to help us get started on the path to following the first agreement. If you want more, I absolutely encourage you to find a copy of the book.
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